I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
