ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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