If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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