last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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