So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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