I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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