It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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