omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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