I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
