What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
