I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
