Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
