i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
