He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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