his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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