Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
