we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
