She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
