Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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