Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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