So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
