I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
