So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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