shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
