Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize