David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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