Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
