Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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