Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
