So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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