but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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