Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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