I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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