yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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