He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Boobs are out for the taking
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
