so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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