Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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