I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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