Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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