Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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