This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
