DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
