someone threw a dead crab at me
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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