the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i think i have herpe
just one?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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