Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't turn off my feet"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
