it's like heaven, but drunker
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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