at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
