I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
