So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize