TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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