my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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