I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
