Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
