I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
