Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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