Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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