is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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