He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
