Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
