I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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